How to understand if your dates have a future
Well, the eve of spring is a wonderful time for exciting meetings, and with them joys and, of course, disappointments. After all, for someone dinner at a restaurant is equal to the quick offer of a hand and heart, and someone from a single message changes status in social networks to “In a relationship”.
Let's think together if the date means anything at all, if it's the very first thing. In this case, you should not even call him a date, because you just met on the Internet and decided to see each other live. Or, for example, a man sympathetic to you c offers to meet in the evening in a cafe - get to know each other. All such scenarios can be attributed to an acquaintance. And here rule number one: call things by their names and do not mislead yourself. Even if you really like a man and you feel that you are in love, do not behave as if you already have a halo of romance hanging over you. The very first meeting should not promise anything.All that is required of you is to behave as naturally as possible, speaking on some general or current topics without a hint of a questionnaire. That is, it is not necessary to ask the man who he is on a horoscope and in which area he lives, because at this stage it is not quite tactful. Be sure to restrain curiosity and respect your personal boundaries as well. It is better to leave a pleasant and unobtrusive impression about yourself than to look in the eyes of a stranger just yesterday as a girl obsessed with relationships. So write down: a man should not guess that you have plans for him (whatever).
What do we do next? We are not waiting for the second meeting. And of course, do not wait for the message the next morning and do not write any "How are you?".
Another common situation. You met a man. And here you go with him to the cinema, restaurant, to the exhibition. You definitely like each other. Attention! Rule number two. Do not think out what is not yet. Everything that is happening to you now is just “looking at” each other. The future of such meetings, of course, is, but with it there are also hundreds of options for the development of events. Experience shows that men today are not synonymous with decisiveness and absolute knowledge of what they want. And it's not about you. Simply, there are characters who swing for a long time, for example.Long enters the zone of your charisma, and he needs time for elementary addiction. There are also a lot of examples of young people with a certain amount of baggage and experience - it is for them that it’s most difficult to get close to a new person, so don’t be surprised if your number of unspecified “just dinners” will go off scale.
I had a similar case.
My "man of dreams" walked me for a couple of months in restaurants, exhibitions and even embankments (well, it would seem that there is nowhere more romantic). And that's all. Every meeting I was waiting for a kiss and was very afraid to burn out, because for me, everything was already obvious. One day I lost my temper - both because it became unbearable because of my uncertainty, and because I began to doubt his intentions. I brought the dream man over the phone. And he wound up so safely that he broke the gadget during a conversation and disappeared for almost six months
Later, when all this passed into the status of “archive”, he confessed to me that for him it was a period of courtship and that “watching”, and I did not appreciate his noble actions, and also behaved like a hysteric.
This story to the fact that in a relationship there are really no rules - only stereotypes. They are taken from women's magazines, romantic melodramas and stories from our school-student youth.Yes, the ability to act is, of course, an enviable man’s trait, but before demanding it from a man, it’s better to think about your feminine virtues: do you show them fully? Do not behave like a girl or mommy? Or maybe you want to take the initiative in your hands by showing off your inner "man"? In general, start with yourself. But whether he is the same or not, it will depend not on the haste of his actions, but on completely different reasons.
One more golden rule about which we girls always forget: it’s better not to discuss any relations at the initial stage with friends. Any phrase like “It means that he doesn’t really need it” can lead to the fact that at some point you’re psychotic and tell the potential partner too much, or start writing unnecessary messages, or by the time of the next meeting you’ll expect decisive action from him. And this phrase is sure to be said by someone at the women's council if you begin to analyze in detail the current situation: the words spoken, the deeds, the number of calls and messages.
Everything that really matters to you should remain in your soul and heart - do not give out these still fragile emotions to everyone, keep them safe
What to do if your dates really turned into dates and you are already bound by something more than touching your elbows in a dark cinema hall? All the same. Calm, neat manifestation of sympathy, all the same sense of boundaries and respect for the space of another. Remember that in our time, feelings are worth their weight in gold. And even if you are one of those who are always in a hurry to love, do not think about the future. Enjoy the moment, the next date, the next walk home. Today, when it is so difficult for people to get out of their self-sufficiency, independence, comfort zone, every look or hand in hand means much more than thoughtful relationships, where every step is calculated. Well, as my friend always says to me in any romantic situation, which I stubbornly try to predict: you will think at work, but here you just feel. It is impossible to disagree.
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