How to become bolder?
Courage is a necessary attribute of a successful person. Determination and mountains can move, and win the heart of the first beauty or an enviable groom. Belief in yourself gains the trust of others. "The courage of the city takes" - said the outstanding Russian commander Alexander Suvorov.
It’s easy to talk about decisiveness and faith in yourself. It is hard to be brave in practice. Not everyone by nature is given to be fearless and confident. Indecision prevents to get out of a dark hole of fears and doubts. Mind and talent lose strength before uncertainty in their actions. How to overcome fears and become bolder? Work on yourself. "It is hard to learn - easy in battle." But what kind of teaching will you have? Start over.
Where does indecision come from?
Timidity lies in the depths of the subconscious. It goes back to childhood. The first "insensible" years of life - this is the soil of the future. If you live in fear, then it inspired you. The reasons for the disappearance of courage are individual, here are the most common:
Parents do not see how they push their children away with actions and actions: “Olya behaves better than you”, “Good children do not do this”, “You are not my son. My Seryozha will not do that. ” Such phrases, pronounced for educational purposes, form a feeling of rejection in a child. He subconsciously feels that parents do not accept him, feels wrong.
Mom and Dad are the closest people in the life of a baby. It depends on them whether he can survive in this world or not. The rejected child is doomed to death. This is an ancient law of nature. Based on it, the human subconscious acts. It affects the psyche in such a way that an adult begins to adapt to others, hiding the true "I" that seems wrong and unworthy of the love of others.
A person who feels inferior does not dare to act decisively.
Kids explore and explore the world from the first months of life. Adults are accustomed to controlling any action of a little man. It turns out that he does everything wrong: he draws, plays, eats, runs. An adult takes the responsibility to correct any action, forgetting that the most important thing in the child's life is the process of discovery.
If the child is constantly corrected, mistrusted and doubted in his actions, he grows indecisive. It is difficult for him to dare to a new discovery. He is already programmed to fail, because from his very childhood he was corrected and pointed to the wrong actions.
In authoritarian families the child constantly feels pressure from adults. Decisions for him takes mom or dad. He is raised weak-willed and passive. He is engaged in singing, but does not draw as he would like. He studies in a math class, but does not learn French in a language school as he dreamed.
Growing up, he can not make decisions independently, he doubts and hesitates.
A black stripe occurs in the life of every person. When failures follow one after another, it is easy to fall into despair. Stress exhausts a person, the negative accumulates, and faith in one’s own strength and abilities disappears. Traumatic experience leaves an imprint, courage and spontaneity of action disappears, and they are replaced by self-control and indecision.
Dreaming of courage is not enough. Determine why you want to become more determined and confident.Think about what prospects await in the future if you cope with timidity and fear. Imagine how many new heights you conquer.
Powerful push to action
While you think and weigh the pros and cons, someone takes and does. It is easy for a going person to overtake a success man who has frozen in indecision on the road. When you stand, you miss a lot of opportunities.
Mobility and acceleration
Boldly moving forward, you save time, which you would spend on meditation. Decisiveness makes a person moving.
Brave and confident people like others. They seem to be reliable and strong, they are trusted, they are drawn to them. Such is human nature.
How many new opportunities have you missed, succumbing to weaknesses and doubts? Interesting acquaintances passed by you. Perhaps that charming stranger to whom you did not dare to approach, would become your loving wife? Or the man, whom you looked with indescribable admiration, would look at you the same way, noticing your first step.
But how to deal with decisive and ambitious? You have one way out: to become more confident and bolder.
Psychological workshop: how to become bolder, more confident and more resolute
Determine what you are afraid of.
Clearly state for yourself what scares you. If you are afraid of public speaking, then there is a specific reason for this. Are you afraid to forget the speech or worry about incoherent diction? Solve this question in advance. Practice your text and practice your pronunciation. Prepare a plan-tip or literally write what you say.
If you are unable to find the cause of fear, look into your subconscious. Anxiety is a reaction to the unknown. Subconscious alien changes that can take you out of your comfort zone. Even if the chance of failure is extremely small, it will dissuade you from decisive action, sending an inexplicable alarm. Learn to switch and not go into this feeling. Find your tricks: movie, book, favorite music, chat with friends. As soon as you turn your attention, the anxiety will recede.
Step beyond fear
Accept fear as part of yourself. Indecision before the unknown is a common thing. The feeling of fear is a natural reaction to danger. It makes a man save his life.But is this desire always justified? Is the subject of your fear of life threatening? Courage is not fearlessness, but the ability to step over doubts and timidity.
Find your strengths
Self-doubt is cyclical, but skills and knowledge are constant. Soberly assess your abilities. This will help find and eliminate legitimate fears. If you received an excellent education and are well versed in computers, you will not lose these skills when applying for a job. Your strength is that you are an expert in your field. You know much more than any average user. Use it!
Praise yourself more often
In any situation, try to find positive points. If you decide to get acquainted with the young man or girl you liked, and the attempt ended in failure, praise yourself for courage. You have not lost anything, and you have not become worse due to failure. It did not work out for the first time, it will turn out in another.
Do not indulge the opinions of others
If you decide to act, do not let others change your plans. The uncertainty of others should not affect you.
Do not run from fear
Trying to rationalize inaction, you try to escape from fear and doubt.Why did you miss so many dating in life? Seeing a person, you came up with reasons why you should not get acquainted with him: he is busy, too handsome, you are not in his taste, he has the other half. So you tried to hide your fear of being rejected. But what would change in case of failure? Nothing. Life would continue to flow in the same way.
Eliminate the paranoid addiction
Do not think that others only think about you. No one is watching you, and collecting failures is also not going to. Each person has his own problems and difficulties. People are immersed in them so that they hardly remember the topic of a sudden conversation. Where is there to remember exactly what you said and did.
Learn to listen and immerse yourself in the process.
Immersed in the process of communication entirely, you will forget about control and anxiety. Soak up the interlocutor or work. Learn to enjoy it.
Opening, you become more attractive. Charisma awakens in lightness and spontaneity. People are infected with the genuine interest of each other, this is the basis for high-quality communication.
Disconnect from ideal images, accept your faults.
Do not try to wear someone else's mask. You will spend a lot of energy on maintaining the ideal image, imposed by someone from others. Take yourself. Look at other people and you will see a lot of other imperfections. Turn weaknesses into strengths, look at them from a different angle. Correct what can be corrected, but do not try to remake yourself and drive into someone else's framework.
Get out of your comfort zone.
Determination is the ability to go beyond the limits of the usual. No need to destroy the comfort zone in an effort to become bolder. Every day, take a small step to the side. Start small. Smile to the passerby, wink at the girl or boy you like, make a resume for the desired job. It will take time, and you decide to meet, and the resume will go to the mail of the employer.
The more you know and know how, the easier it is for you to decide on something new. Education will help in communication and work. Improve conversational skills will help courses of rhetoric. Psychology will bring you closer to understanding yourself and others. Yoga will learn to cope with anxiety. Sport hardens the body and character. A new activity is a significant step towards courage.
Settled confidence in the subconscious
Tell yourself you can handle it. Do not believe? Give iron arguments. Settle the idea in your subconscious. Prove to him that courage is profitable. Imagine convincing pictures. It is them. Words are an instrument of consciousness. The subconscious mind lives in images. The brighter and more accurate your image, the more likely it will affect the depths of the unconscious.
Tips are over, but the courage is not increased? Do not be disappointed. Resolve develops over time. It does not appear from nowhere. At first it will be difficult to work on fears. The more consciously you approach the problem, the easier it will be to deal with it. For courage need arguments. When you have already shown yourself from the best side, you have received praise and a positive result, it is much easier to proceed further.
And if behind a mountain of bad luck? Forget about them. Start from scratch. Set a new goal. Write down the next steps. For example, if you want to freely get acquainted with the opposite sex, try to understand what prevents you from doing this, and work on each item.
Courage is movement.You are approaching the goal with each new step.
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